Let’s talk about this today. Today, and every day after, because talking about it is the only way we’ll ever be able to diminish it.

Alcoholism is an insidious disease. It creeps up on you like a venomous snake lurking in the bushes. You might walk past it a couple of hundred times before it bites you with its deadly poison. Ha, you thought it was safe to stroll by, but there it was just biding its time, waiting till you least expected it. No sane person would start out their life with the goal to become an alcoholic. Well Johnny, what do you want to be when you grow up?… “I’d like to be a drunk ma’am, it just sounds so exciting hiding all those bottles from people and trying to piece together what you did last night”.

Our society accepts drinking as the social norm. It’s in our face wherever we go, whether it’s out to dinner, sports venues, music concerts, the list goes on. It’s even in our lounge rooms being advertised on our giant TVs. Drink this to relax, drink that to refresh yourself, drink this to be super cool and maybe even better looking. We’re indoctrinated to believe that it makes our lives better. Yet, should anyone start to think they have a problem with this highly addictive substance, society judges and ostracises them.

The sober movement is making great advances, but we have a long way to go before people feel comfortable enough to talk about it freely and seek help. I recently watched a documentary that stated its an average of 15 years between someone realising they have a problem and seeking help. That’s 15 years of mental anguish and suffering, not to mention the gruelling abuse to the body.

How many of you sober folk have had uncomfortable situations or conversations? In only 11 months sober I have had many. I’ve had people absolutely insist that I try the alcoholic beverage, which ended in a full blown argument. People who have no idea what to say when I’ve attempted to openly discuss my whys of not drinking, after being asked, then squirming whilst trying to devise a plan not to talk to me for the rest of the evening. People who have bought me a gift of wine glasses, knowing very well that I am choosing not to imbibe. I’ve been asked when I think I might have a drink again… Umm… Really?

I am no preacher, and take great care not to push my opinions and beliefs on others. Why then, is it so hard to be treated with respect in return? Why is the decision or necessity not to drink looked upon with disdain or pity?

Imagine being so afraid to speak to anyone about your struggle for 15 years… 15 years! Let that sink in. Maybe you are an alcoholic parent, afraid you will lose custody of your child if you speak up. Meanwhile the impact of the disease falls heavily onto the shoulders of that same child, while everyone suffers in silence.

Perhaps you are a high profile person so terrified of the public finding out what you are really like. So you continue to hide behind the facade that you are doing just great, instead of talking to your friends, family or doctor about what’s going on. All the while losing your health and your sanity.

As a recovering alcoholic, I can testify that so many of us are filled with shame, self loathing and guilt. Seeking help for alcohol addiction is one of the most courageous and admirable things a person might ever do in their lifetime. Overcoming addiction should be shouted from the rooftops regularly in celebration. Instead, we (society) prefer not to discuss it on any meaningful level, sweeping it under the carpet like a dust bunny.

You don’t need to want to jump on and ride the sober train to offer your support. If you know anyone who has struggled, or is struggling with alcohol, talk to them without fear and with an open heart. If they are in recovery congratulate them, ask them what tools are working well for them, open the conversation. Recovery requires an enormous amount of energy and commitment, but its often something people are expected to do quietly.

If they are still in active addiction, tell them you love them, you’re worried about them, you’re willing to support them and help them find the right resources. It can be extremely isolating to walk this path alone. Sadly, there is often more support from Internet strangers than those in the flesh around us.

The more we talk about alcoholism, the more we take away its power. Fear and shame are fuel to an alcoholics fire, perpetuating the cycle of abuse, and they live in the shadows of hushed voices and turning a blind eye. Let’s stop being afraid of having conversations, there’s no worse feeling than being the elephant in the room.

I’d love to hear from you. Have you been the elephant in the room? How did you deal with it?